Monday, September 15, 2014

I needed a break

I needed a break from thinking and trying to process my emotions, thus my lack of posting.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Monday, August 18, 2014

We officially have a preschooler

Gus is now 4 years old. I can no longer be deluded and think that he's still a toddler. On Thursday, Gus will attend his first day of pre-K and I'm already all emotional about it. Gus was in day care and preschool prior to our move, so it's not feelings of him being away from me or anything like that which are causing my emotions to run amok. I think it's more the fact that he'll be going to pre-K at the local elementary school, with teachers that are certified by the state to teach him, with a principal!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Flu vaccines

I've mostly calmed down since Thursday. I'm still sad, but am also annoyed, angry and hurt.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Getting Too Real

Things are getting too REAL in several areas and it's totally making me feel on edge.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Fireworks

Today is Independence Day. The day to celebrate the birth of a nation? The day to commemorate the people in the 1770's who decided to rebel and break away from England? The day to take a day off work to relax, barbecue and watch fireworks? Whatever this day means to you, today has a very different meaning, and feeling, for me.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Viability

**There are 2 bump pics at the end of the post, so if you're sensitive to them, please be warned.**

Today Lucy is viable as we are 24 weeks pregnant. I'm not feeling the small sense of relief that I was expecting.

I've been purposefully not writing about approaching today because I didn't want to jinx anything and have something go terribly wrong. While nothing has gone wrong, I had a scary day yesterday, so am not feeling any relief whatsoever.

Yesterday I felt contractions 13 times, and four of those were during my 20-minute shower. They only occurred while I was standing, but any contractions this early are scary. I tried to sit as much as possible yesterday, which meant a lot of TV for Gus. He didn't care, but I didn't feel like the best parent ever. I read up on Braxton Hicks contractions and decided that I needed to make sure I wasn't dehydrated. I'm usually not a "thirsty" person, so getting 64oz of fluids in each day is a real challenge, and I'm usually happy if I get 40. So, yesterday I made sure to drink, drink, drink. I also told Jon what was going on around noon, so he knew that I would want to sit on the couch for as much as possible when he was home.

After pushing fluids (by the time I went to bed I had consumed 60oz), I noticed that I wasn't having as many, but my nerves were still on edge. This morning, I had 2 contractions during my shower and already had plans to call the OB's office when they opened at 8:30am. While leaving the message for the nurse, the receptionist suggested I keep resting until I spoke with the nurse. She called back about 1.5hours later and said that 13 BH in 24 hours is a lot less than is typical during pregnancy, that I need to make sure I stay hydrated, and that I rest when I can.

So, I've been plopped on the couch or the floor, watching TV and playing board games with Gus today. And as of right now (3pm central time) I've had 44oz of fluid, and have only had 3 contractions all day. But, they only happen when I'm standing and I've done very little of that. I mean, I can't just stay on the couch for the next 15 weeks! So, I'm going to make a bigger effort to drink at least 60oz of fluid each day, which is difficult because I don't want to drink juice (all the carbs that I'd need to take insulin for) or a bunch of artificial sweeteners (I know they're safe in moderation, but 60oz a day during pregnancy isn't something I'm willing to risk), and I don't like plain water. So, if anyone out there has any ideas of how to help me drink more water, I'll gladly take suggestions!

This is not the post I wanted to have for reaching 24w. I wanted to be able to say how excited I was that we've reached this milestone. I wanted to say that I know we have a long way to go before we want Lucy to be born, but I was happy that we've reached viability. And while I do feel those things, the feeling of how I don't trust my body is stronger than those happier feelings.


That's Gus' hand. As much as he said he was sad that he wasn't
getting a brother, he sure does seem to love Lucy.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Liebster Award



Fur Momma has nominated me for a Liebster Award! I've never been nominated for one before, so it's taken me a few days to actually come up with this post. I'm also grateful that she's given me an outlet to think of something other than "regular" life.