How is it that it's been one month since I've been back here, to this this place that gave me an outlet to process what what going on in my head?
Maybe it's because I'm focused more on what's in front of me, what surrounds me every day, and when I sit down during a break, I don't want to process. I want to relax. I'm not saying that there isn't stuff to process, but during the breaks that I have that's what I want, a real break.
I do have to admit that I miss this space, but this last year with having two living children at home, it's been nice to not process for a bit. I think that's where I've been. Just trying to LIVE my life, instead of processing what's going on in my life. I'm sure I'll get back to processing, especially as Lucy turns one in just about a week, but I'll save that for another day.
Monday, August 31, 2015
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Six years ago I met my first two children. I will not say I became a mom on that day, for I became a mom the day in April that I saw two pink lines on a home pregnancy test. I will say that six years ago today, on a Thursday afternoon, I became a mom who met her sweet son and daughter far too early and quickly had to say good-bye.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
I've never really had the bittersweet and conflicting thoughts of knowing that if Oscar and Bella had lived that Tittle and Gus would never have been conceived and Gus wouldn't be here. That wasn't my reality. My reality is that Oscar, Bella and Tittle DID die. My reality is that Gus did live. Within the last couple of weeks, those thoughts have surfaced regarding Firefly. I wasn't prepared for them.